HUMOR - WHY GOD MADE EVE

WHY GOD MADE EVE

Top Ten Reasons Why God Created Eve:

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would
not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a
doctor's dentist's or haircut appointment by himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never
remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his
troubles on when God caught him hiding in the
garden.

2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be
alone."

And, finally, the Number 1 reason why
God created Eve....

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

HUMOR - LOVE & MARRIAGE

Here are "Love & Marriage" as seen through the eyes of our kids!

How Does a Person Decide Who to Marry?

"You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one."
Kally, age 9

"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming."
Allan, age 10

"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you got to find out later who you're stuck with."
Kirsten, age 10

What Do You Think Your Mom and Dad Have in Common?

"Both don't want no more kids."
Lori, age 8

What is the Proper Age to Get Married?

"Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then!"
Cam, age 10

"No age is good to get married at.... You got to be a fool to get married!"
Freddie, age 6

How Can a Stranger Tell if Two People are Married?

"Married people usually look happy to talk to other people."
Eddie, age 6

"You might have to guess based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids."
Derrick, age 8

What Do Most People Do on a Date?

"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough."
Lynnette, age 8

"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."
Martin, age 10

When is It Okay to Kiss Someone?

"When they're rich!"
Pam, age 7

"The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that."
Curt, age 7

"The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them... It's the right thing to do."
Howard, age 8

What Would You Do on a First Date That Was Turning Sour?

"I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns."
Craig, age 9

The Great Debate:

Is It Better to Be Single or Married?

"I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing ... I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out!"
Theodore, age 8

"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them!"
Anita, age 9

"Single is better ... for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers... Of course, if I did get married, I'd figure something out. I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaper-changing."
Kirsten, age 10

What Advice Do You Have for a Young Couple About to Be Married?

"The first thing I'd say to them is: 'Listen up, youngins ... I got something to say to you. Why in the heck do you wanna get married, anyway?'"
Craig, age 9

What Promises Do a Man and a Woman MakeWhen They Get Married?

"A man and a woman promise to go through sickness and illness and diseases together."
Marlon, age 10

How to Make a Marriage Work?

"Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck!"
Ricky, age 7

How Would the World Be Different if People Didn't Get Married?

"There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?"
Kelvin, age 8

Posted: May 02, 2007

HUMOR - BOYS & GIRLS ARE NOT THE SAME

**NOTE: this was originally posted on BLOGGER.com**

HUMOR: BOYS & GIRLS ARE NOT THE SAME!

Boys & Girls Are Not The Same!

"Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same."
Men and women are created equal.
But, boys and girls are not born the same.
*
You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose.
You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.
*
You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later.
You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your home to the church, even if you're driving there.
*
Boys' rooms are usually messy.
Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess.
*
A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made.
A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.
*
When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them up and play house with them.
When boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to tear off their appendages.
*
Boys couldn't care less if their hair is unruly. If their bangs got cut a quarter-inch too short,
girls would rather lock themselves in their room for two weeks than be seen in public.
*
Baby girls find mommy's makeup and almost instinctively start painting their face.
Baby boys find mommy's makeup and almost instinctively start painting the walls.
*
If a girl accidentally burps, she will be embarrassed.
If a boy accidentally burps, he will follow it with a dozen fake belches.
*
Boys grow their fingernails long because they're too lazy to cut them.
Girls grow their fingernails long - not because they look nice - but because they can dig them into a boys arm.
*
Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early age.
At an early age, boys are attracted to dirt.
*
By the age of 6, boys will stop giving their dad kisses.
By the age of 6, girls will stop giving their dad kisses unless he bribes them with candy.
*
Most baby girls talk before boys do.
Before boys talk, they learn how to make machine-gun noises.
*
Girls will cry if someone dies in a movie.
Boys will cry if you turn off the VCR after they've watched "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie three times in a row.
*
Girls turn into women.
Boys turn into bigger boys.

Send this joke to your friends, too!

Posted by MICHELLE WILLIAMSON at 7:21 AM

CRAIGS GONNA MAKE BLOGGER HIS BLOG HOME

**NOTE: this was originally poasted on BLOGGER.com**
**NOTE: this reflects BLOGGER.com not OURSTORY.com**

CRAIGS GONNA MAKE BLOGGER HIS BLOG HOME..i convinced him **WINK**

i have been pushing blogger for craig to use as his blog home, because of all the great features it has already built into it, and today, as i was thinking of another way to promote it to get him to switch from his yahoo, to here, he asked me if i was wanting him to do such a thing? we have discussed it a bit before (with alot of hesitation on his end)

in that way, of asking: so, what your saying is..you want me to blog ..here..now. " not really a question, altho in an asked format, more like a statement, he was making sure i was in agreement with.

YES!!

and i went into the reasons why again.

his response....

i only need a basic blog, im not wanting all that "stuff" you do...

my thinking, ok..so why was it an issue? all you have to do is cut and paste from your other blog..and back date everything to this new one..you can even have it open and allow others to read it.

hes not really into blogging much as it is...but i keep trying to explain to him, its how anyone will ever know about him and who he was...im only gonna be here for so long, and his memory wont transfer from daniel to HIS children easily..its thru words, thoughts, ideas, and posts, weather it be in a book you hand write in, or a online blog/journal...that those in the future may come to know you best...

i want to leave this planet having touched at least ONE person to a better degree than when i arrived. i want my memory to mean something to someone i dont know yet...

i want ppl to recognize me by my character and personality even tho it be only written.

i want to matter.

maybe ill never be noted as anyone anyone cares about, and in time ill be a distant memory to those who knew me and still survived my life...but i dont think many of those whom i talk to, and those i dont so often (uncle mickey thats a reference to you) could say im an awful person...

im a good person, and if you know me deeply, you know that im not boasting, or being prideful. im being truthful.

i may have my moments (dont we all?) but i also, take to heart ALOT of what others convey to me, and relate to me, and share with me. i ponder, and hold close (even if i dont like it) what you say..and i proccess it all in my own way. most of it is kept. very little is tossed.

im passionate about my connections. i have very few friends, and those i call, friend..id die for if i had too. same with my family. i love each of you who are signed onto my group and recieving the digest...i hope your reading them and not tossing them out.

over time, ill delve deeper into my relationship and my feelings for each of you individualy....right now im still basicly allowing you inside my window, and your allowed a view into my heart, soul, and mind.

welcome, again..to my life. your here, because i think YOUR special to ME!

and THANK YOU HONEY for joining this site..i know ive been a blog bouncer ( a blogger who cant find the right home to blog in and jumps from one to another on a whim)..but i like this one BESTEST of ALL of them so far!
your a JEWEL!! a GEM!! and i am so VERY VERY fortunate to have gotten you for a hubby!
i am so VERY THANKFUL that God listened to my prayer, and gifted me with YOU!!!

MICHELLE

Posted by MICHELLE WILLIAMSON at 9:50 AM
============================================================================
UPDATE: craigs now on OURSTORY.com, and didnt even think twice about being here. lol, he knows im a blog-hopper and have been looking for the "PERFECT" blog (of which he said would never exist)..and yet, HERE WE ARE!!! lol

=====================================================================

UPDATE-Im back on blogger, transfering over 5K (yes you read that right, might even be more, im afraid to find out..lol) BLOG posts from Ourstory.com to BLOGGER.

MICHELLE

HUMOR - UPGRADING TO HUSBAND 1.0

Upgrading To Husband 1.0

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting rules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as Auto-X 5.0 and NBA 3.0.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

Desperate

Dear Desperate,

Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, Happyhour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "Snoring Loudly" wave files.

DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3.